Uh oh
by Golden Vampire Eyes
Summary: What happens when the kids watch Esme videos with Esme? She becomes a hiprapjazzypoprockredneck addict


BPOV

BPOV

Jasper called all of us downstairs. I sat on Edward's lap. "Ok you guys. We have some videos to watch." Jasper said and he put in a video. The video was of Lil Es yeeeahh.

"Jasper." Esme warned. The video ended and Jasper put in Sparkle. I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Esme looked like she would die again if possible. Jasper put in Rocker Esme.

"Wow, Esme, you're hardcore." Emmett said. Esme shot him a glare. Jasper put in Boop De Boop in. Esme went into a kind of dazed state. Then Jasper put in Hip Hop Esme. Esme buried her face into her hands. Then Jasper put in Redneck Esme. I laughed at that and Esme glared at me.

"Then here is the bet." Jasper smiled. It showed Esme and Emmett pole dancing. I though Esme was going to explode and I was right. Esme jumped up and started to dance and sing.

"They see me mowin' my front lawn  
I know they're all thinkin' I'm so  
White and nerdy

Fuck you right all right  
Going at your neck like a fuckin dog bites  
I woke up this morning eyes half closed  
Looked into the mirror and said damn im cold  
Damn im cold and my hoe  
Pimp shit nigga keep paying my hoe  
Damn Im cold man im throwed  
I said damn im cold, hot damn im cold

I can't stop  
I just can't stop loving you  
I can't stop my hands from holding you  
There must be a reason why I feel so free  
No, I can't stop, no, no, no, no  
You and me, you and me

I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation

I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world  
Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie  
You're my doll, rock and roll, feel the glamour and pain  
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky

Cause I'm a redneck woman  
And I ain't no high class broad  
I'm just a product of my raisin'  
And I say "hey y'all" and "Yee Haw"  
And I keep my Christmas lights on, on my front porch all year long  
And I know all the words to every Charlie Daniels song  
So here's to all my sisters out there keepin' it country  
Let me get a big "Hell Yeah" from the redneck girls like me  
Hell Yeah  
Hell Yeah

We were parked out by the tracks  
We're sitting in the back  
And we just started getting busy  
When she whispered "what was that?"  
The wind, I think 'cause no one else knows where we are  
And that was when she started screamin'  
"That's my dad outside the car!"  
Oh please, the keys, they're not in the ignition  
Must have wound up on the floor while  
we were switching our positions  
I guess they knew that she was missing  
As I tried to tell her dad it was her mouth that I was  
kissing  
Screamin'

All my stripper friends  
All my ex-boyfriends  
We all want the same thing  
We all want the same thing  
Body's in the bar  
Reaching for the stars  
We all want the same thing" Esme sang rap, hip hop, jazz, pop, rock, and redneck in one mixed up song.

"How do we figure this out? Who speaks hiprapjazzypoprockredneck?" Carlisle asked. I had an idea. I pulled out my cell phone and called Jake. He picked up on the second ring.

"Hey Bella." Jake said.

"Hey Jake, I need your help. Can you come to the Cullen house?" I asked.

"Sure thing Bella." Jake said then we hung up.

"Helps on the way." I said. Esme started to sing again,

"Well I'm not paralyzed  
But, I seem to be struck by you  
I want to make you move  
Because you're standing still  
If your body matches  
What your eyes can do  
You'll probably move right through  
Me on my way to you

Everybody strikes out nine times out of ten  
But you got to step up to the plate son 'cause every now and then  
(Fast ball)  
She walked right up to me  
(Here's the pitch)  
Said could I take you home  
(Theirs a drive)  
Hey boys I'll see you later  
(It could be, it...it is!)  
Goin' goin' goin' gone  
(Swing batter batter swing batter batter swing batter batter swing

Touch my body  
Put me on the floor  
Wrestle me around  
Play with me some more  
Touch my body  
Throw me on the bed  
I just wanna make you feel  
Like you never did.  
Touch my body  
Let me wrap my thighs  
All around your waist  
Just a little taste  
Touch my body  
Know you like my curves  
Come on and give me what I deserve  
And touch my body.

When your sweetie tells you, everything'll be okay,  
Just skeep-beep de bop-bop beep bop bo-dope skeetle-at-de-op-de-day!

If you feel like shoutin', advertise it just this way:  
And skeep-beep de bop-bop beep bop bo-dope skeetle-at-de-op-de-day!

Don't give a hang what words you use at any time,  
Sing this silly language, without any reason or rhyme.

When you face the preacher, there's only one thing to say:  
Just skeep-beep de bop-bop beep bop bo-dope skeetle-at-de-op-day

Soulja Boy Off In This Hoe  
Watch Me Crank It  
Watch Me Roll  
Watch Me Crank Dat Soulja Boy  
Then Super Man Dat Hoe  
Now Watch Me Do  
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)  
Now Watch Me Do  
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)  
Now Watch Me Do  
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)  
Now Watch Me Do  
(Crank Dat Soulja Boy)

Now Hit The Dance Floor  
Now Bend Your Back Low  
She Do It Wit No Hands  
Now Stop Pop And Roll  
I'm Smoking Bubba Hoe  
Now they in trouble hoe  
I Like The Way She Move  
An Undercover Hoe  
Now Everybody Leaning  
I Make The Crowd Rock  
Now Gone And Walk It Out  
I see they on my jock  
She Like That Bubble Gum  
Is They The Double Meant Twins  
2 Hoes Choosing Me  
So I Know That Imma Win  
It's On Once Again  
Patron One Again  
I Threw My Head Back  
Then I Froze Like The Wind  
West Side Walk It Out  
South Side Walk It Out  
East Side Walk It Out  
North Side Walk It Out"" Esme sang and danced. Just then the doorbell rang and I let Jacob in.

"What's the problem?" Jake asked. I pointed to Esme.

"She is a hiprapjazzypoprockredneck addict! I need someone who could speak all of those in one go and your can. Can you please?" I asked. Jake nodded and he approached Esme.

"Lil Sparkle De Boop Redneck Es, you want to listen to the ghettosist noizze around this big town?" Jake said like a gangster and pop addict.

"Sure Jakeykins, let's bend out backs low and get down." Esme said. We all walked to the piano room and Edward started to play.

"So Lil Sparkle De Boop Redneck Es, how y'all like that dope de dope?" Jake asked.

"Jacob, I seriously think you need help." Esme said sweetly.

"Jasper, hid her I-pod till we clean it, hid the videos, hid all our music. And Carlisle's books on music." I said. Jasper took off and hid everything.

"Esme did the impossible." Emmett laughed.

"Wait why is Jacob here?" Esme asked.

"I dunno." Jake said.

"Well out before my house smells and my nose burns off." Esme shooed him out the door.

"Your welcome." Jake yelled as Esme threw him outside. I laughed. Esme had done the impossible. She was the first vampire hiprapjazzypoprockredneck addict. No more but classical for Esme.


End file.
